Is there a cure for meeting phobia?

I’m a “meeting phobic” and suspect I’m not alone.

I react physically to “bad” meetings. I get sweaty palms, fidgety, restless legs and sleepy. In the extreme, I can even feel slightly panicked or claustrophobic.

My meeting nemesis is the over talker, the side tracker, the power point word-for-word slide reader (I can read it myself people) and those that bring their breakfast/lunch when it is not a “working” breakfast/lunch.

I also go crazy at the history re-hasher. The person who insists on taking us back to the beginning of every issue including telling you what you said and did. I know. I was there!!!

And the person who shuns eye contact is tricky. I had a colleague who always looked out the window preventing her from picking up on the body language that her time was up!

I’m fine when I know I am with “meeting sprinters” – people who are well prepared, clear and concise thinkers and communicators. It also helps to be with people who actually want something to come out of the meeting other than the need for another meeting.

The best meeting people are those with the greatest authority. They are busy and have the power to make decisions – bang, bang, bang and out the door we go.

Don’t get me wrong. It can be fun working on a project with people you admire, brainstorming ideas and solutions. If only all meetings were like that.

The worst are team meetings where people describe every small thing they have done in the last week including planning a holiday. I really don’t need to know this every week for the six weeks leading up to your holiday.

I am no meeting angel myself. I mentioned the fidgeting right? Over the years I have had to train myself to look interested as showing irritation (big signs, eye brows skyward, yawning, a screwed up face) is not very nice. Also, I did bring a banana to an unscheduled lunch after asking if it was okay. Never again. Wow, bananas really smell don’t they?

The weirdest thing that happened to me in a meeting was when the most senior person put his head down on his crossed arms and appeared to be sleeping when someone else was talking.

No one said a word. After a minute, I actually asked if he was alright but people carried on talking as if I hadn’t spoken.

I also had a boss who appeared oblivious to his rancid breath and the fact he was always checking his underarm odour as if none of us could see him. Why don’t people’s family help them with this? He is married – or was at that time. Happily I have never seen him since.

I also had a colleague who would come to every meeting late and ask if he could speak next. As soon as he was done, he would leave due to some pressing issue. He did this every damn week until big mouth here complained to the GM.

So what is the solution?

Well the stock standard advice is for the chair of the meeting to be organised. He or she should get everyone to work toward an outcome, ensure everyone who wants to be heard is heard and that everyone keeps to time and topic. Also, rotating the chair helps people realise what is involved in running an efficient meeting.

I saw an article about a company that used “stand up meetings” to speed things up. The theory was that if everyone had to stand around a high table then the discomfort of the exercise would keep things speeding along.

Someone told me about turning up the air conditioning to discomfort frost levels but I reckon that would lead to a follow up meeting as everyone would be focused on the temperature.

I definitely think every meeting should start on the dot of the appointed time no matter who has failed to arrive and the door should be closed to the dawdler (unless it is a small room and then can I please have the door open?).

When the late person enters, everyone stares (glare is a bit much) and no one must catch the person up. It is called behaviour modification – it will help the person arrive on time next meeting.

What technique do you recommend? What are your meeting horror stories?